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Monday, October 4, 2010

Newsflash

Goats don't like to be milked. They are nothing like cows. Cows just stand around placidly chewing their cud while you try to milk them. they may occasionally tail swat a fly away but that's generally the extent of their physical exertions. i speak from experience. i tried milking a cow once and while i was really not very good at it. the cow made no effort to attack me. Thank the Lord. The cow is a forgiving creature by nature.
the same cannot be said of the goat however. goats sense human intent, first of all. they scatter at the first smell of Milking 101. while they may reluctantly allow the lady of the house, a master in the field, to milk them, they have no such contractual agreement with the student. the goat is a complete devil when facing an amateur. 3 children are recruited to chase the goat and pin her down. you valiantly get down on your haunches only to be surrounded in the dust aftermath of your goat's successful escape. A couple attempts later, you give up trying as you'd feel like a tool to persevere in the face of such resistance. you think the matter ends there and decide to just observe the proceedings , do the whole fly on the wall thing you're becoming real good at.

That's when you learn the second thing about goats. the next newsflash begins to go off just as you realise you've been cornered by three goats, hellbent on exacting revenge for the humiliating past half hour. Newsflash? Oh ya. Goats will chase you if they think you deserve it. And in Goat World nothing reeks more of being haraam than amateur attempts to milk them, a crime deserving of a mass planned, coordinated attack on all things human. The gated area which held the goats was a complete battlezone for the next 20 minutes. the ensuing skirmish involved goats clearing three feet high hurdles and children launching themselves off roofs at errant goats. I of course, just proceeded to run in all possible directions, defense /retreat being my priority rather than attack. yes children years younger than me were out there but being butted by a goat is not on my to-do list, surprise surprise. i finally just escaped the enclosure. yes. a little wimpy. whatever. i'm chalking this one down to experience.

oh and to make things worse? ryan got to ride a camel. something just does not add up here.

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