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Sunday, July 24, 2011

"There's a reason I said I'd be happy alone. It wasn't because I thought I'd be happy alone. It was because I thought if I loved someone and that it fell apart I might not make it. It's easier to be alone because what if you learn that you need love and then you don't have it? What if you like it and lean on it, what if you shape your life around it and then it falls apart? Can you even survive that kind of pain? Losing love is like organ damage. It's like dying. The only difference is death ends. This? It can go on forever."
I've been a fan of Grey's Anatomy since I can remember. I love the drama, the cases that always tie into the trials and tribulations of being the elite surgeons at SGH and the soundtrack and the romances and the adorably hunky men and the fiercely independent messed up women protagonists that make me look sooo normal.
This quote was how season 7 ended. Season 7 is a game changer. Will MerDer make it? They must. Right? This show wouldn't be what it is without the drama that their romance has brought to it. You root for the messed up girl and her perfect knight in shining armor who 'believed in true love' and waited for her. Lord he waited. He put up with some crazy ass stuff to be with her. Including a Post-It wedding. Whatever that is. Glad that fad didnt catch on. But the point is, after all that romance, after having spent 7 seasons convincing us that they truly are meant to be together, they send you this curve ball that just leaves an ache in you. Why? Because, all of a sudden, in that moment, you realize just how true those words are. Yes they're waaaay more dramatic than anything any real person would say considering that line was written by professional writers on one of TVs most acclaimed dramas, but still. You get the gist.
Its all about making yourself vulnerable in the end. Putting yourself out there demanding what is your due. How much are you willing to trade off there? Vulnerability? Dignity? Pride? Self Preservation? I guess Vulnerability and Self Preservation are the main big trade offs. Meredith put herself out there, finally got married and then the entire marriage crumbled all round her. Derek waited years to be with her, start a family, feel whole at last and just as it all seems within reach, he's left to sleep alone on a wooden plank up on a mountain somewhere within the bare walls of his dreams, of what could have been. Not cool.
I want to believe in my own McDreamy, hanging around on a British estate somewhere, talking to his butler about whatever it is that Marquis' discuss with their butlers but its scary because if even TV drama Patrick Dempseys can't resolve the trade off, what hope do we normal mortals have?
Stupid GA. Every time you make me believe, you also manage to find an Achilles Heel for me to cry about don't you? 

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